Ways to Prepare your Children for a College Education

These challenges are not just educational, they are also psychological and social. So when I read a recent blog post from Andrew McAfee at MIT on how our higher education system is failing our children, I couldn't help but wonder whether part of the problem is that parents aren't preparing children for success in school and, ultimately, in their professions. After all, only a bit more than half of students who begin college graduate--and that is in six decades! Can we place all of the blame at the feet of our higher education system? Nope.

I recall not knowing what hit me when I started college. I was ill-prepared for it. I moved from a high school of 2,000 into a college of more than 25,000. I carried a complete load and joined a fraternity. It was like stepping from the proverbial frying pan and into the fire. In retrospect, I made a smart decision to ease into school. I took a few of those tougher basic college courses in the summer before my freshman year. That decision let me start off with good grades and take a smaller but still full load in the fall, making it much easier for me to handle the study load and the time commitment of pledging a fraternity.

It wasn't that they weren't supportive of going to school. My father has a Ph.D. and my mother a master. I knew they expected good grades and I would attend. But they didn't give me much if any guidance about the best way to achieve those objectives. I can only assume that they thought my success in grade school would magically transform into success in school.

I graduated with honors at both levels and earned a scholarship to attend graduate school. So, to some degree (pardon the pun), I must give props to my parents for at least instilling in me the value of good grades and higher education.

But I made a great deal of mistakes, particularly as an undergrad, trying to juggle the educational and social facets of college life in large part because I lacked a psychological and social compass.

I also read articles by people smarter and wiser than me on getting kids college-ready. While I concur with McAfee's guidance to recent high school grads (and their parents) to"work hard, take tough classes, and graduate on time," it is a bit lacking, simplistic, and short-sighted. Parents must start much, much sooner. By time they graduate, it might be too late or, at the very least, a much tougher haul in faculty .

Consider the following tips as you prepare your children for the rigors of college life:

It might surprise you (or not) this first tip focuses on money. I can not tell you how good a decision it was that my wife and I put aside money for our children's education. While we don't have it all paid for, we're a good way later on. Sending both girls to school will be financially manageable, barring something unforeseen, as, when our kids were quite young, we bought contracts for some of our girls' tuition through our nation's guaranteed tuition plan. Start saving now even if you can only set aside a small amount of money.

2) If a parent wants to manage your children's school lives, let them go for it. 

My wife comes from a family of teachers--her grandmother, mother, and both sisters are or have been teachers. So when my kids entered college, my wife began to manage that part of their lives like a fish takes to water. I let her dip right in. That's not to say I abdicated responsibility. I made every parent-teacher meeting, school play, and sporting event that I could. (A crucial purpose of mine has been to handle my children's athletic endeavors.) Indeed, research shows that when fathers are involved in their kids' schooling --broadly speaking--children get better grades than when fathers aren't involved. However, given my wife's knowledge and skills in this area, it was a no-brainer to let her take the lead.

3) Focus as much--and more when necessary--about the social and psychological aspects of school life. School is a laboratory for life. Middle school is a particularly tough time for girls due to their physical, social, and emotional development at this time in their lives. My daughters hated middle school not because of the academics but due to the way girls treated one another. I had a lot of long, intimate conversations with them about how to navigate friendships which change and change, the way to take care of the formation of cliques, how to better understand boys, and how to avoid alcohol and drugs. When kids don't effectively navigate the psychological and social aspects of school--regardless of school level--their academic performance can suffer. If your children need professional assistance, do not hesitate to get it for them. Don't wait for something bad to happen--expect it to happen and be proactive.

Let's face it, grades and GPA thing when it comes to competing for a spot in the freshman class at many colleges. Moreover, good grades and a high GPA can help pay for college through public and private scholarships. This fact is particularly important if your family will not qualify for financial grants or aid (e.g. free grants or low-cost loans). Many school systems have an internet service that allows parents to monitor their children's grades throughout the year and in real time. This service helps parents know immediately when their children struggle, get their kids help (e.g. tutoring) if needed, and also to fix grading mistakes, which happen more often than you might think. 

5) Assist with subjects you're good at, and get your children help in others. 

My wife and I have different strengths when it comes to helping our kids with school subjects. Unfortunately, neither of us are whizzes at math, so we've encouraged our kids to get help in that subject from teachers, tutors, and peers (e.g. in study groups). There's no shame in telling your children you don't have the answers and getting them help from everywhere.

6) To ease the transition into school, enroll your children in college courses while they are in high school. 

Luckily, my daughter made the exact same decision that I did to take college courses before beginning college, but she began her junior year of high school. She'll carry a complete load for a freshman, but not as complete as she would have otherwise. I have the doorbell camera app on her phone so she can watch the home as well. That's critical because she will have to attain balance between her school work, holding down a job, and using her spare time to take advantage of the growth opportunities her schedule will provide that are outside of class time. This tactic saved us money, as well, since she took the courses at a local community college that had a lower per-hour fee than the college she'll attend. Before enrolling your children, make certain that the colleges your children are interested in will take the coursework (i.e. it will move ) and on what basis (e.g. pass-fail or a minimum grade).