Raising A Child Alone: How to Win at Single Parenting

There is a huge difference between being a single parent and being single and a parent. You see, if your former partner actively participates in your child’s life, provides you with necessary support and is there for them when they need them, you can still be in an advantageous position. However, even if they’re giving it their best, it will still be a bit more difficult running a household with this type of limited support. Then again, there are scenarios where your former partner is not as committed as they should be. In that case, it falls to you to provide your kid with all the parental guidance they need. Sure, it’s better to have one good parent than two lousy ones but this doesn’t mean that such a thing is easy to pull off. After all, you are doing a two-person job on your own. With that in mind and without further ado, here are several tips to help you raise a child on your own. Here are several tips on how you can make it as a single parent. 1. Always have time for them The biggest challenge when you’re a single parent is finding enough time for… well, anything. Now, even though you won’t be able to do everything, you need to get your priorities straight. Your child is always your No.1 priority. Take some time to talk to them every day. We’re not talking about the regular discourse of you responding to their feedback (that they’re hungry, thirsty, want to go to the bathroom, want to go outside, etc.), we’re talking about actual conversation. Try to see what’s bothering them and ask them if they have any questions. Remember that even if you’re a working single parent, it’s incredibly important that you keep in mind that it’s the quality of time that counts. Set aside time every single day. While you’re with them, don’t check your emails, don’t multitask and don’t think about anything else. Kids can tell these things and this will make them feel less valuable in your eyes. 2. Look for some help Just because you’re a single parent, this doesn’t mean that you can or should do it all on your own. You will probably have to find someone to take care of the kids while you’re working, which is no easy task. Your closest family members are away and finding a reliable babysitter is far from easy. Even by paying attention and having the strictest of vetting processes, you can’t be 100% sure that you’ve made the right choice. The safest solution is for you to start an online search by typing –a childcare centre near me. However, this is not the end of your journey. What you need to do is check the options, credentials and reputation that this centre has. Keep in mind that you’re doing your very best in order to provide your child with the childhood they deserve. This is why you need to make sure that even this “downtime” (in terms of your time together) is as good as possible. In these institutions, your kids will socialize with others, develop new skills and adapt to a new type of (communal) lifestyle. It goes without saying that this will help them develop skills to benefit them throughout life. 3. Help make them self-reliant Another thing you need to keep in mind is the fact that you need to teach them to be self-reliant. There are three reasons why parents do things for their children that the children can do on their own. These are: • It’s quicker for the parent to do it. • It’s safer for a parent to do it. • The parent enjoys doing it. While all three have some sense, the thing is that you need to think about the long-term benefits and consequences of taking away responsibilities from your child. The first thing is selfish, seeing as how you value your time more than your personal development. The second one is irrational, seeing as how the worst consequence is usually a minor scratch or bruise. The last one is understandable but, from the long-term perspective, you need to put the well-being of your kid ahead of your own desires. 4. Bring them on board Make sure that your kid feels like a full-fledged partner. Give them some chores, not because you want them to do something but in order to help you out. This will teach them to carry their own weight in any relationship. It is something that their future partners and roommates will be grateful for. Also, this is a great way to teach them the value of money. It’s not just about the price – it’s about whether they’ve earned something or not. Just remember that you need to choose the right measure. These tasks shouldn’t feel too difficult so that they’re not interpreted as a punishment. At the same time, they shouldn’t be too simple. This way, they won’t seem like real responsibilities. It is important that they understand what is necessary. Also, bear in mind that you will have so much on the plate that even a minor task makes all the difference. Sure, you want to shield them from some of the responsibilities of the adult world but covering them too much can backfire horribly (as we’ve discussed in the previous segment). 5. Tell them no Parents are incredibly subjective when their children are in question, especially if they’re single parents. This leads to all sorts of scenarios where kids try to abuse the situation and guilt-trip you into acting the way they want you to act. What you need to do in these scenarios is learn how to tell them no. This is the most important aspect of their self-development. Your kid needs to learn that they can’t get everything they want just because they want it. This will prepare them for life. This is the best way to avoid raising your child to be entitled or spoiled. Life is full of rejections and being good at life is about getting to terms with rejections or finding effective ways to overcome them. Just make sure that you never support, endorse or tolerate negative behaviour. 6. Take care of yourself The very last thing you need to take into consideration is that your kids are learning by example. They are evolutionary conditioned to depend on you for survival. This means that they have heightened senses when it comes to recognizing your emotions. After all, you’re getting 100% of their focus and attention and every change in your physical and mental state might affect them, as well. This is why, despite the tremendous stress and workload that you’re under, you can’t afford to neglect yourself. Invest as much time and effort as you can towards self-care. This will help you become a better role model for your kids. This will also help you feel better in your own skin and enjoy being a single parent. In conclusion Early childhood is more important than you would expect it to be. Children are learning by observing you, analysing and interpreting your feelings. This is why you need to be very careful how you act around them and be extra careful what you say and do when you think they’re not listening. They’re always listening and they are memorizing your every step. This means that trying to fake it won’t work. You need a system and you need to believe in it with all your heart.