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Rob Colin
by on January 23, 2018
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Taking That First Trip After Your Divorce Divorce can be an extremely painful experience for everyone involved, and it's normal to find yourself feeling a variety of conflicting, confusing emotions once your marriage has come to an end. On one hand, you are no longer married, and are without a partner for the first time in a long while. As anyone who has experienced a breakup of a long-term relationship would know, this can leave you with feelings of hurt, anger, depression or possibly even guilt. You may feel lonely and vulnerable following your divorce, and it is perfectly natural if you do. On the other hand, perhaps your recent divorce has left you feeling happier, stronger and ready to celebrate your newfound single status. This can be especially true if your marriage was the primary source of any emotional pain or stress in your life, or if you were involved in an abusive or dysfunctional marriage. If this is the case, having your marriage finally come to an end may be a very uplifting and empowering event in your life. You may feel like you are ready to learn new skills, try out new hobbies, and perhaps even begin dating again. This is all normal behavior as well; just as every marriage is different, so is every divorce. Every feeling you have, both positive and negative, is completely valid at this time in your life. Regardless of whether you are grieving the end of your marriage or bursting with excitement over what lies ahead, taking a trip after your divorce is final can act as a means of closure for this chapter. Much like a marriage begins with a honeymoon to commemorate the beginning of a new life together, a post-divorce vacation can act as something of a "solo-moon," as a way to reconnect with your feelings and manage the stress you have been dealing with during the divorce process. If you have been coping with feelings of sadness, anger, anxiety or depression, a quiet, self-reflective trip may be what you need to get yourself back on track. An outdoor camping or hiking adventure, sun-filled beach vacation, or yoga retreat in a secluded ashram are all good options for a peaceful post-divorce journey to reclaim your spirit. Recently-divorced people who want to clear their minds and restore their inner peace may opt to travel alone, or they may choose to go with a trusted friend or family member to provide support and motivation for enjoying new experiences. Then again, maybe your divorce has left you in the mood to party, and you want to celebrate your newly-divorced status with a fun-filled Caribbean cruise, a beach vacation in Mexico, or a wild Vegas weekend. There's certainly nothing wrong with wanting to welcome yourself back to single life with a bang! We all process life changes in our own ways, and if you're in the mood to hit the road with a couple of friends, or take a solo trip to a place on your bucket list, you should take the opportunity and go where your heart leads you. During your first post-divorce trip, you may find yourself experiencing conflicting emotions at times, and that's a completely natural part of the healing process. For instance, someone who first felt depressed and miserable at the end of a marriage may wake up one morning to that he or she feels excitement or even joy about the day ahead. Conversely, a in the midst of celebrating the end of your marriage with a nonstop party weekend, you may suddenly feel alone in a crowd, and find yourself taking a quiet moment to process the pain, loss or sadness from your divorce. Neither of these reactions is wrong or abnormal in any way. We are all individuals and recover from traumatic life events in different ways, at different speeds. There is no prescribed way to feel or act at any given moment- allowing yourself to feel what you need to feel, when you need to feel it, will help expedite your healing process and help you process your post-divorce emotions in a healthy way. Choosing divorce mediation over a traditional courtroom divorce is one way to get through the divorce process simply, quickly, and relatively painlessly. With divorce mediation, you can have just as satisfactory of an outcome as you can with a traditional courtroom divorce, with a lot less stress, time, and cost. Opting for divorce mediation may be a good solution for dissolving your marriage as quickly and simply as possible, so you can get to a stage where you are ready to travel as a solo act. Whenever you are ready to take that first post-divorce trip, you will be able to begin the next leg of your journey, and hopefully find happiness and peace in your life.
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